1 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,520 (MUTTERS) 2 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,920 Have you got change for £1? 3 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,360 No. 4 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,360 There's two kinds of people in this world - 5 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,080 those who'd put in £2 6 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,360 and those who'd put in one. 7 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,120 Which kind are you? 8 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,080 Mm. 9 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,120 Morning. 10 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,920 - Oh, good morning, Robert. Good morning. - Morning. 11 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,960 Hello, Neil. What have you got there? 12 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:25,960 Ooh! 13 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,520 Helvellyn via Striding Edge. 14 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:28,800 Right. Yes, I-I... 15 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,640 I might be inclined to try something else. 16 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,120 Ooh, look, Catbells. 17 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,080 This is a lovely gentle walk. 18 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,960 It's, er... Look, it's only a 500-metre ascent. 19 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,800 There's a bit of scrambling involved but I'm sure the boys would love that. 20 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,360 Yeah. I think we'll be all right with Helvellyn, thanks. 21 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,880 Right. 22 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:51,280 It's just that that can be, er, rather challenging, if not downright treacherous. 23 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,280 - What's he looking at? - Helvellyn via Striding Edge. 24 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,800 (CHORTLES) 25 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,760 Hey! I've been up Snowdon 11 times. 26 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,720 Really? W-Which route? 27 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,040 It... The... 28 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,280 The bottom to the top! 29 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:08,960 Cheerio. 30 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,680 Yeah, but... 31 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,240 (CHUCKLES) 32 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,720 Right. 33 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:24,920 Change of plan. 34 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,560 We're not going t'Pencil Museum. 35 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,920 We are conquering Helvellyn via Striding Edge. 36 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,920 - Yes! - Helvellyn? Isn't that a mountain? 37 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,640 Third highest in England. Over 3,000 feet above sea level. 38 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,520 - Get in! - You've never been for a walk 39 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,520 - in your life. - And you're terrified of heights. 40 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,280 When I was a kid, I went up Snowdon 11 times. 41 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,800 Yeah, on the little steam train. 42 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,240 I know what I'm doing. 43 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,760 I've seen Touching The Void. 44 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,960 3,000 feet? You'll be touching the cloth. 45 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,320 It'll be fine. It's just a matter of preparation. 46 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,800 We'll take a big bottle of water and some Jaffa Cakes. 47 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,800 Oh, yeah, Sherpa Tenzing never went anywhere without his Jaffa Cakes. 48 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,360 Got it. 49 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,960 Right, come on. 50 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,280 Supplies. 51 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,880 They're going up where? 52 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,440 Helvellyn via Striding Edge. 53 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,720 It's like walking along a razor blade. It's just... 54 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,520 I'm not entirely sure he knows what he's doing. 55 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,960 If the oaf wants to kill himself, that's his affair. 56 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,600 What about Fiona and the boys? 57 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,120 I thought we could go with them. 58 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,720 Well, you can hold their hands if you like. 59 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,400 I'm getting waxed in Keswick. 60 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,400 Oh, come on, darling. I thought you could wear 61 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:31,680 those hiking boots I got you for your birthday. 62 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,520 I believe they're still sitting in their box. 63 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,720 And the fresh air will do you good. 64 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,240 Don't waft! 65 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,840 I told you about wafting. 66 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,320 I just thought we could do something together as a family. 67 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,360 Darling, nothing would give me greater pleasure 68 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,320 than to recreate The Sound Of Music with your friends from Stoke but... 69 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,640 ...I can't let Maurizio down. 70 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,680 Ah, you're awake. 71 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,680 - Barely. - Oh, by the way, Maurizio called. 72 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,320 - Ugh! - He said he's had to go to Hartlepool. 73 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,480 His mum's had a fall. 74 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,600 Wonderful! 75 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,240 Dig out those boots! 76 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,200 Ha-ha. Come on, dolly. 77 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,480 Have you been at these Jaffa Cakes? 78 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,880 LITTLE NEIL: I've only had a couple. 79 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,520 We've not left the house yet! 80 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,080 Ready when you are, Robert. 81 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,520 Oh, yeah, terrific. 82 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,320 Well done. I was just, er... 83 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,800 ...just waiting on Julia Bradbury. 84 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,480 Oh, thanks for coming with us. 85 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,160 Oh, no, not at all. Not at all. 86 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,320 If they can't keep up, we're leaving them behind. 87 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,960 Did you buy these for a geisha? 88 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,960 All I need is a kimono and a fan. 89 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,680 They'll be fine once you've broken them in. 90 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:28,880 How long will that take? 91 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,320 About 48 hours. 92 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,680 Two days solid, including the nights? 93 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,840 Darling, I did tell you to wear them around the house. 94 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,560 For the trek to the drawing-room? Or a dinner party, perhaps? 95 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,680 They'd go beautifully with my Lagerfeld tulle. 96 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,800 (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY) 97 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,760 We really should get going if we want to get back before lunchtime. 98 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,880 Lunchtime? Oh... 99 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,280 I think we might be rather longer than that. 100 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,400 - You might. - Ha! 101 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,080 Right, so shall we rendezvous main car park, Glenridding? 102 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,640 Glenridding... 103 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,440 Hold on, it's, er... 104 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,680 ...grid reference NY 385 169. 105 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,480 - 169? - Yeah. 106 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:10,440 Yeah, well, that'd help if you give me the ley-line reference as well, you know, 107 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,960 but don't worry. I-I'll suss it. 108 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,880 It's just, er... 109 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,160 It's just here. It's just near Ullswater. 110 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,960 All right. We'll find it. 111 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,160 What have you got there? It looks very fancy. 112 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,600 Oh, no, not really. It's just a little GPS device. 113 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,960 Electronic compass, barometric altimeter, that sort of thing. 114 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,680 It was a godsend in the Pyrenees. 115 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,920 Well, I'll stick with my trusty OS map, thanks. 116 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,080 - Ah, yes. - Seen me through many an adventure. 117 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,160 - Ah. - Every tear tells a tale. 118 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,520 You just found that in the cupboard. 119 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,600 Maps were good enough for Mallory and Irvine. 120 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,720 - And they were never seen again. - Oh, no, 121 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,080 they found Mallory's body eventually. 122 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,120 Is that fully charged? 123 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,920 Yes, fully charged and ready to go, as are we. 124 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,960 Shall we make a move? Come on, team. 125 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,040 - We'll see you in the car park. - Yep. 126 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,800 Come on, Hopalong. 127 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,360 (MUTTERS) 128 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,400 ROBERT: Come on, everybody. 129 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,880 Doing terribly well. 130 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,000 Up we go. 131 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,000 PENNY: People weren't designed for this. 132 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,880 Goats have hooves for a reason. 133 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,160 They'll save a fortune in shoes. 134 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,960 You can't paint a hoof, mind. 135 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,240 Why does anyone do this? 136 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,240 What's the point? 137 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:28,720 He'll drag us all to the top of the hill and he'll drag us all the way down again. 138 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,120 I'm married to the Grand Old Duke of York. 139 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,760 Ow, God! 140 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,480 I've never known pain like it! 141 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,520 Do nurses carry morphine? 142 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,000 Er, not usually, no. 143 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,520 You don't think it will have to come off, do you? 144 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,680 I think you'll be OK. 145 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,120 How long have we been going? 146 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,720 About half-hour. 147 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,120 Oh, wonderful. 148 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,760 Only 47-and-a-half hours of - oh! - agony to go. 149 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,520 What's it like, being adopted? 150 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,560 I cry myself to sleep every night. 151 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,040 - Seriously? - No. 152 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,400 No, of course not. You know, I couldn't wish for better parents. 153 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,080 - My boyfriend says he's had... - Garth! 154 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,440 She's got a boyfriend! 155 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,400 NEIL: I'm not going to follow these orange paths. 156 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:14,920 They all just go round in circles. 157 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,120 No, they are, er... 158 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,000 Those are contour lines. They indicate the elevation of the terrain. 159 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,160 Yeah, well... 160 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,280 ...don't need a map to know I'm going uphill. 161 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,200 Come on, you lot. One last push. Hey, 162 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,880 should have brought a flag! Well, what are you waiting for? 163 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,720 Get your phone out. We'll take a selfie on the summit. 164 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,040 Don't know what you're so worried about. 165 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,040 We're almost... 166 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,320 ...there. 167 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,680 Now, remember what I said - if she's dropped a dress size, 168 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,640 it'll be you she's dropping next. All right? 169 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,800 So, this is what all the fuss is about? 170 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,440 Neil? Neil? 171 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,920 ROBERT: Yeah, these false peaks can be very deceptive. 172 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,480 I encountered a similar problem when we were in the Dolomites. 173 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,400 Thought I was summiting Marmolada. 174 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,960 Yeah, well, I didn't think it was the top. 175 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,960 I was just trying to boost morale. 176 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,520 Oh. Ha-ha. 177 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,480 Oh, right, excellent idea. Well done. 178 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,560 - Right, hang on a minute. - Right. 179 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,200 Oh. 180 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,840 169... 181 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,080 (MUTTERS) 182 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,200 16... 183 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,560 16... Oh, 13... 184 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,600 No, I... 185 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,480 Actually, I think that's upside down. 186 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,960 Could you, er...? 187 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,600 If you...just... 188 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,960 Yeah. 189 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,600 It's right. Up that hill. 190 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,800 Neil, I'm sure you're right but, er, would you mind if I just, er, 191 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,280 quickly double-check the gizmo? Hold on. 192 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,720 Er... Oh, would you believe it? 193 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,760 It's, er... It's actually telling us to go that way. 194 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,320 Does it? 195 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,600 And if it told you to step off a precipice, would you? 196 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,440 You can't rely on those things! 197 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,440 Neil! 198 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,240 I went to a conference in South Wales once. 199 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,880 I put "Newport" in the sat nav, ended up on the Isle of Wight. 200 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,560 Didn't you realise something was amiss when you were on the ferry? 201 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,120 Well, I thought I'd been re-routed. 202 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,880 Look, I've actually done this walk a couple of times and I now recall, 203 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,640 i-i-it's definitely left. 204 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,640 Good. 205 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,840 Well, come on, my lot. We're going right. 206 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,680 Don't be daft. Robert knows the way! 207 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,560 - I want to go with Dad. - I don't. 208 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,800 He's got the Jaffa Cakes. 209 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,360 The Jaffa Cakes are coming with us and so's your father. 210 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,080 It's a question of safety. 211 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,760 You lot do what you want. 212 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,800 I'm going this way. 213 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,600 Neil, what are you doing? 214 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,760 Wait for me! 215 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,920 - What? - I think you're right. 216 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,520 I think it's right. 217 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,920 Darling, I think it's probably better if we stick together. 218 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,200 Right it is. 219 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,600 (SIGHS) 220 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,880 Well, follow us, then. 221 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:06,920 I'll see you at the top, Dad. 222 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,480 Aye, we'll be waiting for you. 223 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,920 And, hey, we will get that selfie. 224 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,040 Oh, Neil! 225 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,560 Honestly, honestly, don't... Don't worry. 226 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,120 As soon as they're out of sight, Penny will head straight back down. 227 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,680 By the time we've reached the summit, she'll be sitting 228 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,200 in her hot tub with a nicely chilled Pinot Grigio. 229 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,480 What about Neil? 230 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:24,520 Well... 231 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,280 ...Lady Penelope needs her Parker. 232 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,600 I'm afraid he won't even have a choice. 233 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,080 Well, I hope you're right. 234 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,680 Hmm. 235 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,480 Right, come on, gang. This way. 236 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,160 Neil, are you there? 237 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,840 Neil? 238 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,560 (PANTS) 239 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,600 Thank God! 240 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,640 - They're out of sight. - Eh? 241 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:15,000 We can go down now. You can drive us home. 242 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,360 That was the plan, wasn't it? 243 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,280 No. 244 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,520 We're going this way because the map said "right". 245 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,240 The map said nothing. You were guessing. 246 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,680 You're no more capable of reaching 247 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,400 - the top of this mountain than I am. - Hey! 248 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,320 I've been up Snowdon 11 times. 249 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,600 My husband has climbed Kilimanjaro, scaled the face of El Capitan, 250 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,000 made mincemeat of the Matterhorn. 251 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,680 He's trekked the Rockies, the Andes and the Hindu Kush, but you, 252 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,880 a newsagent from Stoke-on-Trent, know better? 253 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,640 (CHUCKLES) I think not. 254 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,000 Yep. Well, I made a promise to my son. 255 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,640 I will see him at the summit and we will take that selfie together. 256 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:54,240 If you want to go down without a map and water and Jaffa Cakes, 257 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,520 then be my guest. 258 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:57,040 But me? 259 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,880 I've got an appointment with destiny. 260 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,680 And I had an appointment with Maurizio. 261 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,120 Do you know how hard it is to get an appointment with him? 262 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,000 (BOTH MUTTER) 263 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,760 Follow me. Oh! 264 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,120 - Rocks! - (GROANS) 265 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,120 (DOG BARKS) 266 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,760 Quiet, Fang. 267 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,200 Can I help you? 268 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,040 My name is Mercy. Mercy Hackett. 269 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,920 Do you know where my Neil is? 270 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,560 Is he the bloke from Stoke? 271 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:01,040 They're definitely up here this weekend but nobody's answering the door. 272 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,200 Did they not know you were coming? 273 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,400 - (DOG BARKS) - Quiet, Fang. 274 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,960 (DOG GROWLS) 275 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,760 I'll be in Burslem Cemetery before she invites me. 276 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,120 I invite my lot up all the time. 277 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,640 Have they ever been? Once, 278 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,520 when they wanted a deposit on a house. 279 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,560 Oh! Shocking, in't it? 280 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,040 Kettle's just boiled. 281 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,560 Fancy a cup of tea? 282 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,840 Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? 283 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,400 I'll do it. 284 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,000 You sit yourself down. 285 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,600 - (DOG BARKS) - Quiet, Fang. 286 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,320 287 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000 - FIONA: Oh, wow! Look! - ROBERT: Look at that. 288 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,640 Terrific! 289 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,000 FIONA: Look at that! 290 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,600 That's fantastic. Look at that shot there. 291 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,240 (CHUCKLES) 292 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,960 Hey! Be nice, you. 293 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,280 I think you and the boys did jolly well. 294 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,880 Mum, I'm starving. 295 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,000 Well, we, er... 296 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,800 We could, er, you know... We could stop for a bite and a drink 297 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,000 in, er...in Pooley Bridge. 298 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,480 Hair-raising, isn't it? 299 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,960 I was scared, too, my first time. 300 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,120 No, I... 301 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,000 I wasn't scared. I was... 302 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,480 I was seeing if there was an echo. 303 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,520 Look, about earlier... 304 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,440 It's times like that I'm glad I don't have a little brother. 305 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,440 I don't fancy you. 306 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,920 Oh. Thank you. 307 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,600 Not... Not that I think you're ugly or anything. It's j... 308 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,360 There's someone else. 309 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,440 Oh. 310 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,960 And does he or she have a name? 311 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000 She. She. 312 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,560 So, tell me all about this lucky lady. 313 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,880 Well, she's...er... 314 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,720 - She's lovely. - Who is? 315 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,280 Garth's girlfriend. 316 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,560 Garth's girlfriend? 317 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,800 Yeah. 318 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,160 How long have you guys been together? 319 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,160 Oh, they've... They've been together ages. 320 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,800 She just lives up the road. 321 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,960 We've known the...Dups for years. 322 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,280 Yeah. Yeah, the... The Dups. 323 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,360 Mr and Mrs Dup, 324 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,440 Jason Dup, Joey Dup 325 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,160 and their sister May. 326 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,600 May. 327 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,680 That's a pretty name. 328 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,680 Yeah, his girlfriend's May Dup. 329 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,520 - (CHUCKLES) - You're dead! 330 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,600 Get here now! Get here! 331 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,080 I hope they did turn back. 332 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,720 Neil gets vertigo on the escalators at the Potteries Centre. 333 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,440 I promise you, there's very little that comes between my wife and a Pinot Grigio. 334 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,480 - Hmm. - They'll be absolutely fine. 335 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,800 Right. 336 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,800 Well, that's just brilliant. 337 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,560 I can't believe you've poured the last of the water on your feet. 338 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,400 It was my turn. What I did with it was none of your business. 339 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,280 Yeah, but it was my water in the first place! 340 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,920 Like it was your Jaffa Cake, and you had to eat it right in front of me. 341 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,400 I offered you half of it. 342 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,400 Only after you'd bitten it. 343 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,880 You should have broken it in two. Everybody knows that. 344 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,000 I didn't want to lose any of the crumbs! 345 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,400 I don't even drink tap water. 346 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,400 Hey, now, there could be all sorts in there. 347 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,920 These streams are glowing after Chernobyl. 348 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,360 One sip of that, you'd be like the Ready Brek kid. 349 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,480 Robert drinks from these things all the time. 350 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,360 Well, I bet he does. 351 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,120 I bet he walks on them, too. 352 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,480 How do we know there's not a dead sheep upstream? 353 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,000 You can't drown in that. 354 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,520 Drown? How about poisoned? 355 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,040 These mountain streams are littered with corpses. 356 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,760 You've never been up a mountain in your life. 357 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,360 I've been up Snowdon 11 times! 358 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,040 Well, I'm drinking it. 359 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,000 You can die of thirst for all I care. 360 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,000 Don't say I didn't warn you, 361 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,320 because my conscience is clear. 362 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,120 Hey, and it'll not be me carrying you back down. 363 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,040 Oh! 364 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,440 Oh! 365 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,960 Oh! 366 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,280 Oh, they should bottle this stuff! 367 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960 Oh! 368 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,120 Oh! 369 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,440 LITTLE NEIL: What were you crying? What were you crying, Garth? 370 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,040 - "Mummy! Mummy!" - I never... 371 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,160 I never said that. 372 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,400 - "Mummy!" - I... 373 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,680 I was seeing if there was an echo. 374 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,080 Don't mind me. I'm just taking 375 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,240 - a few snaps for the website. - Oh, right. 376 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,240 "Mummy, I'm scared!" 377 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,400 - Ouch! He just stabbed me. - He's making it up. 378 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,680 Stop it, the pair of you. I'm sorry about the racket. 379 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,320 It's what families are all about. 380 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,040 (CLEARS HIS THROAT) We're... 381 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,000 (ALL LAUGH AWKWARDLY) 382 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,520 Oh, my brothers and I used to rag on each other all the time. 383 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,360 I used to hate the county chess finals. 384 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,320 My brother would be kicking my legs under the table. 385 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,160 My shins would be black and blue. 386 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,800 Garth likes chess. 387 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,920 - He's got a lovely Harry Potter set. - Oh, right. 388 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,240 He used to take Dumbledore to bed with him. 389 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,280 No, I d... I... 390 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,480 - I didn't. I didn't. - Used to run around the kitchen 391 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,280 - on the mop playing quidditch. - (ROBERT CHUCKLES) 392 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,440 Quidditch! Oh, that sounds like fun. 393 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,000 He cried when I flushed his Dobby down the toilet. 394 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,560 That was you? 395 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,560 Don't be embarrassed. 396 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,400 When I was little, I lost my Furby at Kuala Lumpur Airport 397 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,720 and I bawled my eyes out the whole way home. 398 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,080 I was just the same when My Little Pony went missing. 399 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,160 Poor Penny's little pony had to be put down. 400 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,120 What's all this? 401 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,240 - Grandma?! - Who's Ginger Spice? 402 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,440 - Oh! - And where the hell's my son? 403 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,360 Still no signal? 404 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,440 How many times? I said I'm sorry. 405 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,280 You can't tell the difference between a berry and a rabbit dropping! 406 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,600 You're the one who ate it. 407 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,000 You're the one who let the map blow away. 408 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,440 I didn't ask you to follow me. 409 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,520 Not that you could read it anyway. 410 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,640 What was I thinking, putting my trust in an imbecile like you? 411 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,440 Hey, I'd be doing fine if it wasn't for you 412 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,360 holding me back, what with your blisters and your moaning. 413 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,960 "Ibiza this, Ibiza that." 414 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,840 Oh, whereas Keele services is so much more interesting. 415 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,240 I can't wait to tell my friends your gripping tale 416 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:08,000 about last year's refurbishment - how self-service tills transformed your life. 417 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,840 They're not self-service. 418 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,880 They're semi-attended customer-activated terminals. 419 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,400 They're never completely unmanned. 420 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,880 There's always somebody watching. 421 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,920 So if you're thinking of having it away with a sly Maeve Binchy 422 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,080 or a Toblerone, think again. 423 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,760 I haven't got time for this. 424 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,120 Come on, Moses. 425 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,080 We've got to find the promised land. 426 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,160 But... 427 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,000 I promise you, this one's a berry. 428 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,520 Well...at least I think it is. 429 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,200 Sorry about that Ginger Spice crack. 430 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,280 (CHUCKLES) 431 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,440 Oh, no, not at all. 432 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,920 I was rather flattered, actually. 433 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,400 I thought they were actually rather marvellous role models 434 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,400 for young women everywhere. Although I don't think 435 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,640 I'd look quite as good in that Union Jack dress! 436 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,920 (THEY CHUCKLE) 437 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,880 So, you haven't seen Neil at all? 438 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,280 No, I've been with Donald all day. 439 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,560 We took Fang out for a walk. 440 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,400 Where was it, duck? 441 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,440 Catbells. 442 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,880 Oh, Catbells! Oh, that's a lovely leisurely walk. 443 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,760 Yes, I did mention that to Neil this morning, but he was adamant that you... 444 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,120 Was he, now? And what did you say about Helvellyn? 445 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,480 Well, I... 446 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,640 I-I did suggest that it might be rather... (CLEARS HIS THROAT) ...challenging. 447 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,040 I'll kill him. 448 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,240 Now, there's a picture if ever I saw one. 449 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,440 Three generations breaking bread in the heart of the English Lakes. 450 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,640 No, it, er... 451 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,520 It'll be four once these lovebirds get started. 452 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,160 (CHUCKLES) 453 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,280 Mum and Dad, more in love than ever. You can see it in their eyes. 454 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,280 - Well, actually, it, er... - And, finally, the baby boomers. 455 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,600 There might be snow on the roof but there's fire in the furnace. 456 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,080 - Am I wrong? - We'll have to wait and see. 457 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,160 Oh! 458 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,560 (CLEARS HIS THROAT) 459 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,160 (PETRA AND MERCY CHUCKLE) 460 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,880 What shall we name our first one? 461 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,600 - First what? - Child. 462 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,120 What about...Little Garth? 463 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,440 (CHUCKLES) 464 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,160 Your, er... 465 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,000 Your mother-in-law left in quite a hurry. 466 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,720 She seemed rather upset. 467 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,120 She had no business coming up here out of the blue, and I told her so. 468 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,800 - Ah. - She's always doing it. 469 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,920 We were on our honeymoon in Greece, looking round the Acropolis, 470 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,840 and who should step out from behind a pillar? 471 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,160 Oh! 472 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,160 Ha! Oh, I wondered why you didn't seem surprised to see her. 473 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,200 Nothing that woman does could surprise me. 474 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,240 (CHUCKLES) 475 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,200 Oh. 476 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,000 Ah. 477 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,400 Well, I don't want to worry you, but, er... 478 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,120 They're still on the mountain?! 479 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,600 Er... 480 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,760 Well, he has been up Snowdon 11 times. 481 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,280 On the little steam train! 482 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,960 Ah. 483 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,160 (BIRDS CAW) 484 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,440 It's like they're banging the dinner gong. 485 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,520 - Are there any more berries? - No. 486 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,720 But we could make a start on the bracken. 487 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,400 We should push on. 488 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,960 Where? Up, down, left, right? 489 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,440 We've passed that same rock six times. 490 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,800 They were different rocks. 491 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,120 It's the same rock - it's the one that looks like David Hasselhoff. 492 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,880 I'm going to die dressed like the innkeeper from Little Neil's nativity. 493 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,400 I never thought it would end like this. 494 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,240 I always picture myself... 495 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,520 ...on a four-poster bed, 496 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,760 surrounded by my grandchildren, gentle piano music playing. 497 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,200 Or choking on my own vomit in the ladies' toilet at Manumission. 498 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,880 I'm sorry I poured your water on my feet. 499 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,880 I'm sorry about that Jaffa Cake. 500 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,640 I knew what I was doing. 501 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,400 What would you have done differently? 502 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,720 Well, I'd have gone left instead of right. 503 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,600 No, I mean in general, in life. 504 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,200 Well, I do have one regret. 505 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,360 I wish I'd seen more of the world. 506 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,640 When I used to work at East Midlands Airport, I'd walk past the departure board 507 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,480 every night. 508 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,600 See all the exotic destinations. 509 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:10,680 Barbados... 510 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,160 Oh! 511 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,280 Milan... 512 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,400 Aberdeen. 513 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:21,040 Then I'd get on the A50 to Stoke, drive past all the same old signs... 514 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,720 I've seen the world. 515 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,680 It wasn't much to write home about. 516 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:27,920 Oh! 517 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,120 All I ever needed was a poolside bar. 518 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,680 I've sold a million headlines. 519 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,640 Now I'm going to end up as one. 520 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,920 I should've been more like my mother. 521 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,440 Dedicated my life to the Brocken Women's Institute, 522 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,880 volunteered for the bonfire committee. 523 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,840 All I got involved with was the young farmers... 524 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,000 Charles, Toby... 525 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,480 Hugo. 526 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,760 Henry. 527 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,520 Charles - a different Charles. 528 00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,640 St John. 529 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,720 Shane. 530 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,840 Though he was more of a labourer. 531 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,360 I wish I'd said a proper goodbye to the kids. 532 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,680 I wish I could tell my mother that I love her. 533 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,520 I wish I'd danced at my own wedding. 534 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,160 What? 535 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,800 I told her I'd twisted my ankle. 536 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,400 I'm not a dancer. 537 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:23,640 Neither is Robert. 538 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,440 Should have danced that night, though. 539 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,160 What was the song? 540 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,200 Stand By Me. 541 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,560 542 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,320 543 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:47,320 544 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,360 BOTH: 545 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,800 546 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,640 547 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,680 548 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,320 549 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:00,680 550 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,760 551 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,840 552 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,560 553 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,400 554 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,440 (WHIRRING) 555 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,360 556 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,800 Oh! 557 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,040 Oh, my God! 558 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,800 - Down, down! - Hi! 559 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,960 (THEY YELL) 560 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,520 I've never been so happy to see another human being! 561 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,680 Thank you! 562 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:31,960 Robert? 563 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:32,960 Oh! 564 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,400 - Ah! - Is that Robert? 565 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,680 Robert! 566 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:38,760 Robert! 567 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,960 568 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,120 Robert! 569 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,800 - Robert! 570 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,520 571 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,560 572 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,000 573 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,000 574 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:56,480 My mother? 575 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,240 It was the Acropolis all over again. 576 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,120 As if I haven't had enough to put up with. 577 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,640 Well, where's she now? 578 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,000 Mr Fieldhouse drove her to the station. 579 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,400 She's gone home? 580 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:05,800 We had a bit of a set-to. 581 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,760 She said I shouldn't have let you wander off on your own. 582 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,480 She was right. 583 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,640 My wife and kids should have been there by my... 584 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,840 - ...side. - As you were dangling from a helicopter 585 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,200 like a starfish? 586 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,720 It was epic at the top, Dad. 587 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,720 Yeah, I know. I should have been at the summit waiting for you, son. 588 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,600 I could have been Amundsen to his Scott. 589 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,400 Instead of being saddled to Captain Oates and her blisters. 590 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:27,880 I took loads of pictures. 591 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,280 You've got to see this one. 592 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,160 We found a dead sheep in a stream. 593 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,880 What? 594 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,240 It was gross. All its guts were hanging in the water. 595 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,160 Yeah. Yeah, cheers, mate. 596 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,480 You should look at those pictures. 597 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,200 Look at the knife-edge ridge we had to cross. 598 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,360 We were practically tightrope walking. 599 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,880 Poor Garth - he was scared out of his wits. 600 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,320 - No, I wasn't. - He wet himself. 601 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,360 No... 602 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,760 It was a Capri-Sun. 603 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,760 And you'd been warned - Hell-vellyn. The clue is in the name. 604 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,480 Look, I'll make it up to you. 605 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,640 All of you. 606 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,320 I'll take you out for Sunday lunch. 607 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,400 Spare no expense. 608 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,800 You can do what you like. I'm going to bed. 609 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,280 So... 610 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,720 ...were you really dancing on that mountain? 611 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,080 We were just keeping warm. 612 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,240 PENNY: I don't feel embarrassed in the slightest. 613 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,320 (CHUCKLES) 614 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,920 After all the hours you've put in with Mountain Rescue, 615 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,440 it was the least they could do for me. 616 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,880 Oh, they'd never seen anything quite like it! 617 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,320 It was like the last dance at a school disco. 618 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,800 I've told you - I was just keeping warm. 619 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,240 Yeah, keeping warm. 620 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,920 Of course you were, darling. Good survival skills. Well done. 621 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,200 Mum, Granny's on the phone. She wants to speak to you. 622 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,240 (GASPS) 623 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,280 No.